Every year I pick a word to recalibrate me. But, as a woman flooded with words, it’s swollen in the past years to an acronym:
G-R-O-W.
Gratitude. Resilience. Obedience. Wonder.
(In 2021, I’m making it G-R-O-W-L because we all need some laughter. Every day.)
These words guide my “rule of life,” a spiritual practice that helps set a sacred pace and path for life’s journey. (More on developing a “rule of life” in an upcoming newsletter.)
In my last post, I focused on gratitude.
Now it’s time for resilience. If I want to keep following this wandering and winding path of writing, leading a non-profit arts organization, and “soul tending,” I need to be resilient.
What is resilience?
“Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves ‘bouncing back’ from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.” (American Psychological Association)
Resilience is the willow tree of attributes. It flexes, stretches, and bends. The winds blow, failure hits, rejection hurts , loss and grief and disappointment happen. I can break, give up, or sway in the breeze and sink my roots deeper into God.
Resilience is in my genes. My dad survived three different kinds of cancers, hepatitis C, and heart disease for three decades before dying at 88. He wanted to be with his grandkids that much. After my dad passed away, my mom resisted leaving her beloved Amelia Island. When it became clear she needed to move close to me, she grumbled but flexed. A few weeks after settling into Birmingham, she suffered a massive stroke. She recovered most of what she lost by being the model patient for her physical, speech, and occupational therapists.
Then COVID-19 hit.
She went into lockdown and her recovery slowed. She lost the sight of her left eye through the stroke and the sight in her right eye became blurrier which made reading more difficult. We went to nearly every eye subspecialist in Birmingham and she put our saint of an optometrist on speed dial. She was convinced if she only got thicker lenses for her eyeglasses, she could read again. When it finally sunk in that it was macular degeneration and not a faulty prescription, she nearly gave up.
But she didn’t.
Once she accepted that her eyesight wouldn’t improve, she began listening to the rehabilitation specialists who gave her tools to adapt and keep on reading. It’s not what she wants. But she has grit and is trying to learn new technology. Accept. Adapt. Endure. Hope.
I wish I could “inherit” resilience without experiencing the suffering and enduring and changing that goes with it. But it doesn’t work that way.
So, how do we build resilience into our souls?
Recalibrate
No path to our eternal home is linear. That road is filled with roadblocks, detours, and delays. We can train ourselves to keep turning our eyes back to Jesus who is the way (our direction), the truth (our destination), the life (our desire). We remember where we’re going and why it’s worth it. We acknowledge the reality that this path we’re on is a broken road and filled with suffering.
So, no wonder we don’t give up. For even though our outer person gradually wears out, our inner being is renewed every single day. We view our slight, short-lived troubles in the light of eternity. We see our difficulties as the substance that produces for us an eternal, weighty glory far beyond all comparison. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 TPT
Build Endurance
Scripture is essential to resilience. The Bible speaks of enduring with hope and reminds us of God’s faithfulness to those who’ve passed before us. More than anything, it shows us the resilient joy of Jesus and what he endured on our behalf.
For all those words which were written long ago are meant to teach us today; that when we read in the scriptures of the endurance of men and of all the help that God gave them in those days, we may be encouraged to go on hoping in our own time. Romans 15:14 Phillips
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-3 The Message
Find Community
Make it a priority to plant yourself in life-giving, mutual relationships. A community of people where you can laugh and weep together. Where you will ask for help. Seek a church which focuses on grace and vulnerability and accepts that everyone is on a broken road together.
Think of the Alternative
What if you stay stuck, go numb, or give up? You may need to adjust your goals. Maybe you’re past parachuting, winning the Olympics, or running for governor. But you’re not past the desire to try new adventures or impact your world. Think of resilience as buoyancy in the storm with Jesus as your anchor.
Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you! Psalm 27:14 TPT
Remember Who Will Never Let You Go
Here’s the best news of all. God will never ever let you go. So, hang on, knowing his grip on you is sure and forever. He is the God who holds you. That’ll give you the courage to keep taking those wobbly baby steps of resilience on your way home.
I give to them the gift of eternal life and they will never be lost and no one has the power to snatch them out of my hands. My Father, who has given them to me as his gift, is the mightiest of all, and no one has the power to snatch them from my Father’s care. John 10:28-29 TPT
One definition of resilience is about the power of an object (or person) to return to its original form or purpose after being bent, compressed, crushed, or stretched. Jesus was crushed for us and we are assured that God will restore us to our intended shape and purpose in Him.
God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun. Romans 8:29-30 The Message
Link here to read practical ways to build resilience into your life. Link here to listen to the resilient truth that God will never let us go.